What dose it means to love yourself, and how can we love ourselves better?
I was having this conversation with a really good friend of mine recently , and she asked me, “what dose self love look like to you?”. I’ve thought about it and generally it boils down to these 3 things.
First of all to love yourself fully is to accept and embrace yourself for everything that you are. Including your strength, your weaknesses,your flaws, everything. You have to love yourself at your best,and love yourself even at your worst. It’s about just embracing who you are, owning it, and not wanting to be anyone else (or have a different life).Self love should be unconditional, because whatever happens, you still have to live with yourself
Number tow is to learn to forgive,and this comes in tow parts. The first parts is you have to learn to forgive yourself. This means to learn not to be so hard on yourself, if you made a mistake or you’ve messed up, don’t dwell on it. Just acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.The second part of forgiveness, is to learn to forgive others who have hurt you, even they have’t apologize ,or even if they don’t deserve it. This is hard and it is tricky, but if you can do it , then it is extremely powerful! When you have an argument with someone, or if you have a grudge, or there’s some sort of unsettled situation, that occupied space in your mind, and there’s just this negative energy where you’re always hurting, because you haven’t gotten over that situation. So you want to learn to forgive others, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because you love yourself too much to let yourself keep hurting over that situation. It doesn’t have to be a verbal connection, you don’t have to tell the person that you’ve forgiven them. It’s more for yourself that you’ve forgiven this person and let go of the situation, just so that you can have inner peace. Forgiving yourself and forgiving others is learning to treat yourself well and it’s loving yourself. You don’t want to keep hurting over something that happened in the past.
Number three is to take the time to really listen to yourself, and do what’s best for you. In loving yourself, you have to really know yourself, and through that you can do what’s best. I personally do this troughs writing it is my way of talk to myself. I have a bunch of journal, and I do stream of consciousness writing, which means I just write what ever floats out of me, what ever is off the top of mind,and I keep going, and I keep writing, writing, and writing until the voice inside of me comes out. It takes a while to peel off the layers of what’s on the surface. You know on the surface we think about our daily life, and the things we have to do, but if you keep listening to yourself, and keep digging, then you start to find the most honest core of yourself , and the voice that is truly you. That’s how I get to know myself , and listen to what I’m really feeling, and what I really want. Trough that I try to take action, and do things that compliment what I truly want, and what’s best for me.
Those are my three criteria for self love and how to love yourself better. I’d love to know what you guys think, what self love looks like to you, and if it was helpful!
Love, Helene Xx