Girl Talk| How to Gain Self-Confidence


“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” –Oprah Winfrey

Self-confidence is something that comes from deep within, and it really comes from learning to embrace yourself, and love yourself, for everything that you are. Learning to be confident is a journey for everybody, it is not always easy, and it takes time.

Today I want to share my top 3 tips, those are 3 things that you can change right now, that will help you boost your self-confidence.

1. Change your posture. Think about what a confident body looks like, immediately you’ll think about putting your shoulders back, chest up, chin up, and looking the world straight in the eyes, because you are NOT afraid, and you are confident. If you make your body look more confident, then your body is going to send signals to your brain that make you think and feel more confident. It’s a science, there’s a famous TED talk about power poses and how it really works, it changes what you think about yourself (if you want to watch the video click here). It’s as simple as that, change your body posture, and you will feel a little bit more confident.

Next time you’re hanging out with friends, or at work, or any social events, and you notice yourself slumping, or crossing your arms, doing things to make your body feel smaller, just change your body, change it to a position that looks confident, and you will eventually feel better.

2. Change what you focus on, if you want to gain self-confidence you have to learn to focus on the positive, focus on your strengths, things you love about yourself, rather than the negative. You will notice that people who are more insecure tend to focus more on the things they don’t like about themselves, and they’re focusing on their negative qualities. Make a list of all the things that you love about yourself, list your favourite qualities about yourself, and if you are brave enough you can even ask your closest friends and family what they think your best qualities are. Knowing that will give you a confidence boost as well. Put your list somewhere where you will read it regularly or at least once a week.

3. Change what you say to yourself. You may not realize it, but you are constantly talking to yourself throughout the day. The things that you say to yourself really reflect and affect your self-confidence. For example, you’re browsing the internet, or you’re on Instagram, you might hear yourself saying things like “I wish I looked like her” , or ” I wish I had his life”, “why does my face look so awkward”, or “why can’t I be prettier”. Essentially when you are saying those things to yourself, you’re telling yourself that you’re not worthy, or you’re not good enough, and obviously if you have that kind of self-talk, you’re not going to be very confident. What you have to do is pay attention to your self-talk, make sure your self-talk is positive, start speaking to yourself with love and respect, because that’s what you deserve. A way that you can do this is to write positive affirmations that make you feel good, and say those things to yourself, every morning and every night.

An affirmation is an empowering statement that you can repeat to yourself every day to get into your subconscious until it becomes who you are. You can write whatever you want, whatever makes you feel confident, powerful, and strong. It can be anything, like “I am worthy”, “I am smart”, “I am talented”, “I am capable of anything I put my mind to”… Whatever makes you feel like a boss! Just create your own statement, unique to you!

Those are my 3 tips on how to gain self-confidence, if you guys try these out, please let me know how it goes! I would love to hear your tips, you can share them in the comments section below, that way it might help others!

Love, Helene Xx

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  1. mikaholborow
    October 15, 2015 / 4:09 am

    Such a beautiful and inspiring post. I enjoyed reading it and I genuinely believe we should all spend more time reflecting on what is happening within us. Thank you for sharing this- I look forward to seeing more!

    • October 16, 2015 / 1:46 am

      Awesome post – and so great to see how its resonating with people!

  2. October 14, 2015 / 10:56 pm

    I love how you mentioned posture. It plays such a big role in confidence that people forget about. Xo J

  3. October 14, 2015 / 8:59 pm

    Hi Helen. Thanks for this post, I really needed it today. My tip is to spend time on what you love doing/being (like you you talked about shifting your focus). If you do that, the knowledge and confidence will shine right through. And we as women must teach ourselves to not compare ourselves against other women (difficult I know), and to stop caring what others think. And as a last resort when you are feeling down on yourself, put on one of your favorite songs, sing the hell out of it and then walk into that exam/interview/meeting with your head held high 🙂

  4. October 14, 2015 / 8:48 pm

    Changing what you say to yourself really does help! I never realized how much I put myself down until I started having more anxiety and panic attacks about not being good enough. I still haven’t mastered the positive self-talk but I am working towards it everyday. Thank you for this.

    • October 16, 2015 / 1:44 am

      Keep working on it – you’re totally making strides (every changed-thought matters!) even if you can’t feel it at the time. Stick with it!

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