There’s a little saying that you never really know someone until you live with them. I find this to be 100% true. Last summer I was in a really bad place, I was going through some really bad family stuff, and cherry on top my boyfriend broke up with me (with a lousy text message after a three years relationship…I later found out that he was cheating on me with some girl from his work but that’s for another story). In short last summer was a living hell for me…I was looking for a place to stay, and was pretty happy when one of my friend proposed me to get an apartment together. I needed fresh air, I needed the support of a friend through this bad time, and that’s what (let’s call her “Rose”) was offering me. Now looking back at things that was a HUGE mistake. I had lived with roommates before and I quite enjoyed the experience. For me moving with Rose was like moving with a sister- nothing bad could’ve happen right? I learned the hard way that there’s some friends you can live with and some you really, really cannot. I won’t go into details, but Rose and I are no longer friends…Living with a bad roommate is one of the worst things ever. You don’t want to go home, you’re always stress, you feel trap because you’re stuck with lease at hat you can’t break so easily. So today I want to share some of my tips and tricks on how to deal with a bad roommate.
Talk To Each Other
Like in any relationship, communication is the key! Even if you’re pissed at your roommate, it’s important to be able to talk to each other about it (in a respectful and polite way). Sit down and talk about what’s bothering you. Trying to find a good compromise that will suit both of you. I know it can be hard sometimes to have a heart to heart conversation when you’re mad and sick and tired of the situation, but by talking to each other you might resolve some of your issues and restart things on a fresh new bases.
Establish your boundaries
Make a list of all the house rules, that you guys have establish together, put them on fridge, use it as a friendly reminder.
Have a support group
It’s good to have friends you can talk to about your situation there’s a saying that two brains (or 3 or 4) work better than one. Maybe your friends can give you tips, and advice on how to deal with your situation (but don’t be bitchy, don’t badmouth your roommate, and don’t let your living situation be the only topic you have with your friends because it can be heavy and annoying on the long run)
Lock your room door
If you roommate is the kind to borrow clothes from you without asking, or use your computer without your permission, or sneak into your room when you’re not there lock your door. You can easily find doorhandles for a lesson 30 bucks, don’t forget to get a copy of the key to your landlord for emergency sake.
Don’t Be Passive Aggressive
This is one of the worst things you can do! If your roommate annoys the crap out of you by leaving dishes out, or doesn’t help you at all with the cleaning, or doesn’t pay her fair share of the bills, don’t be passive aggressive about it, don’t leave a note like “A clean sink is a happy sink” or anything of that sort. Like a good friend of mine once advised me “if she is leaving dirty dishes out take that dirty dishes and put it in her room”. If your roommate doesn’t help with the cleaning, talk to her in if she still does does nothing to help, demand that she hire a housekeeper at her own expenses. If she doesn’t pay her fair share of bills you have legal process that you can use to get your money.
Get Everything In Writing
Living with someone is a big deal when it comes to bills and such. I know you don’t want to think about the idea that someone might sue you one day, but it can happen. And it could be your roommate. When you agree upon bills, make sure you get everything in writing. Always. If you and your roommate agree to split the power bill evenly every month, and she stops paying you, you now have evidence of an agreement to back yourself up!
Talk to your landlord
Talk to your landlord maybe he or she has gone through similar situation and knows what to do about it. Plus by information your landlord of the situation you are back in yourself up.
Consider Your Options
If things just aren’t working out for you and your roommate, think about what your options might be. If you live on campus, you might be able to change dorm rooms. Talk to your RA to see if this is a possibility. If you’ve signed a lease with someone, that’s a little more tricky. You may be able to get someone to take your spot (or your roommate’s) and be able to sublease. Or you might get lucky and get out of your lease altogether.
I know living with a bad roommate is a pain if you’re stuck in this situation let me know what are your tips and tricks to deal with it in the comment section below. I hope this was helpful
Love, Helene Xx